A Primer for Bridesmaids

Our new pals Joanna and Ellen have created a website all about being a stellar bridesmaid, based on their (quite numerous) personal experiences. Here's their advice on how to make the Big Day go smoothly.

So, the wedding day has finally arrived, and your bridesmaids duties (thankfully) are drawing to a close. What exactly is required of you on the Big Day? How can you exit the role of a bridesmaid gracefully, and with your dignity intact? Here are our suggestions, first of the bare minimum requirements, and then of the extra little things you can do to be an A+ bridesmaid. Because we all want to be stellar bridesmaids, right? (Wink, wink)

What's Required

Be on time and be prepared! On the bride's big day, the last thing she wants is the hassle of wondering where one of her bridesmaids is. Be punctual (better yet, get there early).
Make sure you have everything you need with you. This would not be a good time to have to go running around looking for an extra pair of stockings!
Remember to bring all your makeup, toiletries, clothing, and accessories with you. If there are certain things you are worried you might forget (such as phone numbers, addresses, or directions), make sure you have them in your purse with you.
This is a great day to use your Palm Pilot! Usually, there is a room where the bridesmaids can safely leave these things behind during the reception and party.
Don't panic if you don't know exactly what will happen and what is expected of you. You can be pretty sure that someone that day- whether it's the maid-of-honor, the wedding planner, or the bride herself- will tell you what to do when. As long as you follow instructions (willingly and happily) everything should go off without a hitch. No pun intended!

What's Helpful

Helping the bride get dressed (and, yes, helping her go to the bathroom, though that "honor" usually is reserved for the maid-of-honor.)
Participating in a last-minute rehearsal or walkthrough of the ceremony .
Getting your photo taken again, and again, and again....keep smiling!
Walking down the aisle (hopefully on the arm of a handsome single groomsman), and standing in your designated spot during the ceremony (remember to hold those pretty flowers up!)
Attending, and kicking up your heels, at the reception. No wallflowers permitted.
Helping out with various tasks as the reception winds down, such as loading gifts into the car or helping people with their transportation arrangements.
And, here's something not to do: COMPLAIN. At all. Save it for later (and, definitely, for other people. . . preferably those not connected to the wedding!)

What's Really Helpful!

Without being too pushy, remember to ask the bride from time-to-time during the day what else you can do to help. This is especially helpful for her during those jittery pre-wedding hours. Someone may need to go buy extra bobby pins, to find someone who needs to be in a photograph, or to help little Aunt Mildred to her seat. Ask what you can do, and then do it with a smile.
Here's one every bride loves: PHOTOGRAPHS. Even though it is likely she will have a professional photographer, brides love the candid photos that their bridesmaids snap during those off-camera moments, especially while the bride is getting all dolled up. It would be great for you to put these snaps in a pretty mini-album for her to give her as a gift when she gets back from her honeymoon!
Simply congratulate her! (and the groom, and their parents, and their aunts and uncles...you get the picture). It is surprising how few people do this. A few heartfelt words from you (something to the effect of "You know, I really have to tell you how beautiful everything is today...I am so happy for you") will go a long way with any of these people. Trust us.
Look out for your friend. Remember all the times you needed to support the bride through tough times- like those bad break-ups? Well, she needs you today, too, even if it IS the happiest day of her life. Sometimes brides get stressed out on their wedding days. If she looks concerned, or even panicked, ask her what's wrong and then make sure it gets fixed.
Most importantly: Have a great time! Nothing says stellar bridesmaid like one who is smiling and enjoying herself. And, after all, why shouldn't you be? It's a big party, and a wonderful celebration of what happens when two great people find each other!

Wedding Gazette