The Guy Guide to Bachelor Parties

You're the best man, you want to show the groom a good time, and you want this night to be a story you tell years from now. Here's the way to throw a Night to Remember without getting you or the groom in trouble.

It may seem a little unfair that I, a woman about to get married, got assigned to write the ultimate "How To" on bachelor parties. I detest the very idea of strip clubs, abhor cigar smoke, and have been asking my fiance why he and his buds couldn't have a nice, quiet night of poker over at our place for his bachelor party. He has explained to me, however, that men and women view "fun" in different ways, and I should respect his fun. I then reminded him that he has never had to force himself to respect antiquing. I think it's just a different thing.

So, with all due respect, I have put together some handy tips for you party animals to go out and and show the groom his "last" night of bachelor fun.

Ask the Groom What He Wants

You can call him "whipped" if you want, but the truth of the matter is that the groom may not really want to engage in 6-12 hours of boobs, booze, and boorish behavior. And, you have to consider that he and his fiance have already talked about it (trust me), and she's nervous as hell, and so is he. So, before you do anything, ask him for suggestions. This doesn't mean you can't surprise him, but just cop a feel for his bachelor party feelings before you take him to Runway 69. You may want to run your guest list by him as well.

Do Not Throw the Bachelor Party the Night Before the Wedding

Or, as a bachelor party website I saw put it: the bride and groom have most likely spent every dime they have on this wedding, let's allow them to be sober for it. Throwing the party a week or even a month before the wedding gives you plenty of time. Be sure to send out invites 3 weeks to a month before hand, in case out-of-town guests want to make travel plans.

Make a Plan

Even though you may want to have all the guys meet at somebody's house and "see what happens", proper planning always insures a great party. If you're going out to a club, be sure to call ahead and tell them it's a bachelor party (all houses of lascivious and unlascivious entertainment have special packages waiting for you). Same with a hotel, since they will probably want to put you in a large room with as few breakable objects as possible. As the best man, you are responsible for making sure the party keeps rolling, so a sturdy plan of Pure Guy Fun will secure your popularity with your buddies.

Consider the Alternatives

One of my guy friends who was getting married didn't really want all the naked girls, he just wanted to do super-guy things all night long - his bachelor party desires were more along the lines of taking a camping trip with plenty of beer, going to a hockey game, or having a supertime steak dinner with stogies and Scotch. He claimed that this was more fun anyway, since he didn't have to spend the whole night worrying about upsetting his fiance. Also, you guys may just want to do something different. I'm not forcing this on you, but consider the alternatives.

Pull Out the Gags

The bachelor party is the perfect time to make fun of the groom and his last night as a single man. There are plenty of establishments where you can purchase items that you can inflate, play in your VCR, or I don't even care to imagine what else. One of your sole functions on this night is to embarrass the groom, so do what you have to do to surprise him into speechlessness - in a respectable way, boys.

Please, Please Designate a Driver

How disappointed would everyone be if someone from the wedding party couldn't make the wedding because he got a DUI, arrested, or worse? For the sake of all of us worried brides-to-be out there, please make sure everyone has a sober ride home.

Wedding Gazette