Wedding Gazette

Planning a Kid-Friendly Wedding

By Jennifer Baumann

Thinking of extending the invitation to the kiddies? More and more brides are including children at the ceremony and reception. Having it all work out is child's play... when you plan ahead.

If bridal etiquette used to frown at the thought of anyone under the age of sixteen attending a wedding, times have changed considerably. Today brides are older and their friends are older, often with toddlers in tow. 'Now, kids are just a part of the mix, and etiquette has had to change with society," says Leah Ingram, wedding expert and author of "The Portable Wedding Consultant".

"The very first thing the bride needs to do is step back and determine whether or not it is worth it for her to have kids at her wedding," says Ingram. One major consideration has to be safety. "Some reception areas (next to water, in large city ballrooms) are just not safe for small children," says Ingram. But if safety is not an issue and the bride decides to invite youngsters, "she must relax her expectations and accept the fact that children won't be quiet and they may cry," she adds.

Once a bride has made her decision, planning to keep the youngsters and their overwrought parents happy is not all that difficult. Ingram suggests the following:

Have on-site babysitting. "Keep in mind that it's not always easy for parents to find babysitters or to feel comfortable leaving a young child for a day or more with a sitter, especially if they are traveling to attend the wedding," says Ingram. She suggests checking out nearby colleges with an education department. "The students studying to be teachers are a perfect choice for the job as they are responsible and won't be too expensive," she says. Ingram also suggests having a sitter at the ceremony, assigned to one of the Sunday school rooms armed with videos. Then if Little Johnny decides to let loose during the vows, mom has a safe place to put him.

Have a kid-friendly menu. "A sushi bar during cocktails isn't going to cut it with youngsters," says Ingram. Be sure to serve foods like chicken fingers, pigs in blankets, and plenty of pasta as well. "The fact that there is food present they can eat will keep the kids busy and their parents from agonizing over how to feed them," she explains.

Have a kids' table, but be flexible. It's best to ask parents ahead what their child's preference would be. "Painfully shy children will not feel comfortable in such a situation while older children may roll their eyes at the thought of sitting next to mom and dad," says Ingram. It's a good idea to give youngsters the option, then be ready for them to change their minds at the most inopportune moment.

Invest in some fun. "If the reception isn't too formal, it might be fun to take a page from kid-friendly restaurants, cover the children's table with white butcher paper, and provide crayons," says Ingram. The kids, of course, can do the rest. Another idea would be to hire a clown for a casual outside reception to keep the little ones occupied for an hour or two while mom and dad relax and grab a bite to eat. And finally, "If doing a send-off from the ceremony with bubbles, let the kids be the ones to do the bubble-blowing and give them wedding bubbles as favors" says Ingram.

And here are a few more kid-friendly suggestions:

• If there is an onsite babysitter and a room set aside for the children at the reception, think about having a piñata, filled with wedding goodies.
• Encourage the band or DJ to plays some songs the younger set might enjoy.
• Provide children who can work them with a disposable camera so they make some memories and have some fun.