Wedding Gazette

Encore Wedding Etiquette

By Rebecca Black

The focus for today's encore couple is that this is a new beginning, their first wedding together. So, let's celebrate this new beginning.

According to Donna Ennis of a popular online second wedding guide, aptly named I Do Take Two, the first consideration should be the children and their comfort level. If there are children involved, they should be informed before others about the wedding and considered in the planning process. Inviting them to play a part in the ceremony is not only appropriate, but can also be a bonding experience. After all, this ceremony joins two families. Lighting a unity candle is a wonderful idea to emphasize this.

Appropriate Roles for Children

• Pass out programs
• Guest book guardians
• Escorts for the bride
• Bridesmaids and groomsmen (adult children)
• Jr. Bridesmaids, ushers, and candle lighters (ages 9-15)
• Flower girls, ring bearers, and pages (ages 4-8)

Note: Please discuss this privately with your children and allow them to decide if they want to be involved.

Note: One usher per fifty guests.

Rules?

The number one rule for all couples is to plan together. Perhaps former weddings were based on other's ideas of the perfect wedding. Well, today it is all yours. Your wedding can be formal or informal, large or small, and include any element of a first wedding you wish.

• The bride can wear any color and any style that suits her age and figure.
• Veils and trains are now appropriate if part of the gown-no blusher veils.
• A father can escort the bride.
• The couple may include multiple attendants.
• Showers are fine, but should be small and intimate.
• Do not host the event in the same location as the first.
• Do not wear rings from former relationships.
• No former spouses. It is confusing and puts others in a difficult position.

Are gifts appropriate?

Yes! Gifts are appropriate for encore couples, so please register. However, those who attended former weddings and showers are not obligated to give a gift. Gifts should never be mentioned on wedding invitations. Register for gifts in a variety of price ranges.